X-mas Shopping with 2 grown-up kids: Part II


Tati: Before the actual post, I’d like to apologize for the delay of this one. I have, of course, a very good reason!

Mel and Gabes gave me the Matrix Box for x-mas and it arrived earlier than they expected. I am a super Matrix fan, like the Star Wars fans, but I’m cooler, you know.

So, anyway! I have been watching it nonstop with all commentaries and all everything I can like 10 times each and I didn’t have the will power to stop it and post. As I speak right now, I am listening to the second set of commentaries on the Matrix Revolutions (I don’t have to watch it anymore, it’s engraved on my brain). THANK YOU GUYS! I love it! (yes there will be a Matrix post at some point)

Mel: Ok – so I just got back from a surreal experience made all the more dizzy by a caipirinha that was really amazing – it had a special name but basically the Cachaça is made with cinnamon, honey & guaraná powder and is served with lime and ginger. It was great, except for the fact that Gabriel and I ordered it with dessert and after drinking 1/3 of it on a full stomach we were both getting dizzy if we moved our heads. Gabriel more so than I but yeah, so apparently its like 38% alcohol or something so this post will be buzzed and Tati will have to unbuzz it or something like that…whatever.

Tati: Yeah Tati Unbuzzed it! This was hard this time, took me 3 hours (about 1 and ½ Matrix).

Mel: It was surreal because it was a Mato Grosso do Sul restaurant where I had Okinawa Soba Noodles, Tubaína (very old and freaky soda) and Refrigerante de Terereré – which is basically Tea Soda. It was green and weird but somehow tasty, although I don’t know if I’ll sign up to drink it on a regular basis, but I can see how it grows on you.

Tati: literally?

Mel: Throughout dinner a table half full of American college students and half Brazilian discussed a variety of familiarly insane subjects such as the difference in pronunciation between coconut and crap in Portuguese.

Tati: cocnut = côco – crap = cocô. If you loose control of your accents in Brazil you can end up eating crap!

Mel: They also serenaded us with their rendition of “Hit Me Baby One More Time” including falls to the floor in the end. There may have been cachaça involved. So forgive this post as it may make less sense than usual…or maybe it will make more. Creepy.

Tati: I got your back girl!

Mel: So, back to our list:

MONKEYS



Chimp Family

Mel: In case your building doesn’t allow pet monkeys you can get this alternative – what makes them different is you can buy the whole family, avoiding unnecessary separation anxiety in your plush pals.

Solar Power Monkey

Mel: I cant think of reason why you need one, except…why not?

Tati: I can think of a big fat WHAT THE FUCK!

Barrel of Monkeys

Mel: The adult version. I loved this game as a kid, maybe because I love the idea of a barrel of monkeys, how do you do that anyway, is there a banana slot?

Tati: Monkeys are awesome! This also tells us how awesome is Japanese TV:





Mon – KEYS get it?

Mel: They are cute and maybe you need a lower priced item on your list.

Tati: You can get the “Skulls” too.



Pet Monkeys

Mel: for the dedicated fans of peanut butter, banana yogurt & poo.

BUBBLES

Candy bubbles

Mel: While the flavors can be sickening after awhile and the bubbles are more fragile, no party is complete without them. Be prepared to see people running around with their tongues hanging out. Modern bobbing for apples.

Tati: That scene just need some alcohol to be perfect. Drunk grown-ups running around trying to catch bubbles!



Scented bubbles

Mel: while there are cooler packages for these bubbles that come in ice cream cone shaped bottles for kids (which are also welcome don’t get me wrong) I love the idea of “Freshening” the house while blowing bubbles. “What are you doing?” “Oh nothing, just spraying some air freshener the fun way” how cool.

Tati: Having cats in the house should make it even more fun.

Zubbles

Mel: They aren’t for sale yet through the web, but they SHOULD be and when they are they will make great stocking stuffer for EVERYONE.

Tati: if you look at the movie, not one single kid was able to blow the bubbles. That shows that kids have no business trying to play with grown-up kid’s stuff!

Zorb

Mel: Human Hamster Ball – okay so technically not a REAL bubble – it still counts because come on- I need two of these then we can race across the swimming pool and roll around until we’re dizzy.

Tati: Or to go to work!

Bubble Scrub

Mel: A mathematician once told me that the key to understanding the universe is understanding soap bubbles and I look to fit bubble blowing into any possible activity. This makes dish washing that much more fun, of course I would probably just use this in the shower instead, but STILL tons of fun.

Tati: There is also this one. I love the think of putting a girl’s smiley head into the toilet!

“6 Honorable Mention”

Mel: *cough* Only the refined collector has this on his shelf.

Tati: *puke* As you can see I’m not one of the refined.

VIDEO GAME- ESQUE -SORTA

Mega Drive Bag

Mel: There are a lot of video game purses around, but this one fits my Xbox 360 and is black and therefore goes with anything….right? also can be unisex.

Tati: No it can’t! Boys, NO PURSES!


8-bit Tie

Mel: Because I think Ties are silly anyway – unless worn with black suits or tuxedos and then they go with the whole package and are just sexy. Seriously guys – if you want to play dress up girls in French maid costumes, school girls, nuns, strippers – this is one for the gals – guys in tuxes. Do not wear this tie with a tux though.

Tati: I prove here, with my major Fireworks’ skills, that you can wear a tie with a tux and without it!

NOM NOM!

?

Mel: Okay so it’s not really video game related but somehow in my head a horse ride simulator is some sort of game but with the alcohol sloshing in my veins I can only think of naughty ones.

Tati: Yeah like Wii naked horse ride? But on that matter, I would rather get the Hawaii Chair



Arcade

Mel: more expensive than a hot tub but smaller and easier to find a spot for. Should be considered a cat toy because I bet mine would love it.

Donkey Kong Jenga

Mel: I was highly disappointed with the Truth or Dare Jenga, I liked the concept but crappy execution on the dares AND the questions. The dares I can understand, but the questions were ALSO ridiculous. I am hoping this version will save the day for Jenga alternatives. It looks cool enough to do it though.

Tati: I could never see the magic of Jenga. It is boring and noisy, and not PMS friendly AT ALL. Not to mention that Jenga rhymes with Benga!

BATH TIME



Luv Duck

Mel: because…



Tati: Errrr, Mel, this isn’t a… mmm never mind, go ahead and get one. I think I would be more conservative about vibrating things in the bath tub. Of all things that vibrate, one that I don’t wanna have in the tub is a duck, if you know what I mean. (the fact that this is water proof – hopefully – is interesting though).

Caffeine soap

Mel: They say it works, I like peppermint myself, but there are some mornings I’d be willing to give anything a try.

Tati: Maybe the Luv Duck will help.

Portable Spa

Mel: ironically at its lowered price more affordable than a real one for me. Come on wouldn’t it be fun to have a Hot tub party and not have to actually INSTALL a hot tub? here are other larger versions.

Tati: That’s got to be one of the ugliest tubs I’ve ever seen.

Mel: I so need a hot tub in my home, it was getting to the point that if I wasn’t afraid of the water, I was going to go to a Motel for an hour or two just for the hot tub, but again – afraid of the water in those places.

Tati: You should be afraid of everything in those places. I HATE Motels, Glad they don’t have that kinda crap here in Toronto (I don’t want to know if they have, thank you). Don’t be cheap, go to a HOTEL at least you can spend the night.

Hope in a Jar

Mel: I like the Philosophy behind the Philosophy products – the names and concoctions tickle my fancy and pamper my soul – and skin 😀 but here, have some Hope in a Jar. or some “Milk & Cookies”. Or some “Cupcakes”.

Tati: Well, we all know what happens when you put food scented/shaped products close to me. For those who don’t know, I eat them. Most memorable one was the “Dulce de leche” body cream at the lingerie store.

TRAVEL

Dream Sack

Mel: While the name is a bit odd – I bet this would be great on a plane, and lets be honest having to stay at a few of the sketchier hotels in the world, this would come in handy. While I am not the type to travel with my own pillow, I do travel with my own blanket. Call me Linus, but this looks like it would be nice.

Tati: Well Linus, visiting all those links to add it here, makes Amazon VERY confused about my personal taste. All sorts of wacky things are being suggested there based on the products “I like”.

Tourist remover

Mel: Too bad it doesn’t work on the tourists themselves…but then, if that were the case, it would be removing me too I suppose.

Tati: WHAT?! That’s exactly what it does, it removes the tourists and it’s pointless. If you have to take several pictures and then it will “blend” it and remove the tourists, well just stay there and wait for people and cars to get out of the way and take your picture. And it’s not even a gift, it’s free! BAH you are drunk, why am I even trying?

Steripen water sterilizer

Mel: This is useful and probably something you will never have with you when you actually need it. But in a master batman belt of amazing gizmos and gadgets this probably has a pocket somewhere.

Tati: This looks so fake, call me dumb, but really? Looks like a Light saber in a glass.

There is this one too, “It really sucks” HA!


The Moisturizing Gloves And Booties

Mel: (booties? really? not socks?)

Tati: Moisturizing boobies!

Mel: Looks weird and from the socks I’ve tried. FEELS weird, but actually work, and what with planes totally zapping the moisture from your skin, and making everything swell anyway – these are great. Obviously not just for use with travel, more of a spa deal but I like to switch things up.

Tati: I saw somewhere that Posh Spice sleeps with those every night. Can you imagine how a hand job sounds like with these? *splosh* *splosh* *splosh*

OFFERINGS FOR ELVIS

Cat Camera

Mel: If I ever put one of these on Sinatra (the other cat), I would only ever see the inside of the sofa, but it would be cool to see where Elvis sleeps. And I know some twitchy kitties that should own one. Not to mention Tux the neighborhood tomcat that sleeps all over the neighborhood, accepting warm beds and cuddles and offerings of sushi. Do they make these for people? I want one too…

Tati: This must weight a ton. Super comfy. I’ll bet Elvis will bite your ass and video tape it!

Pod Bed

Mel: Elvis would probably choose to sleep UNDER this just to spite me, but then he liked sleeping in his scratching post tube for awhile. So maybe with the momma cat lining in this pod he would stop sleeping on my chair.

Tati: Not a chance! Where is the fun if he can’t stick his hair on your clothes?

Cat Skull T-shirt.

Mel: While I would not advise trying to fit most cats into a T-shirt as claws, loss of eyes and bodily harm are standard procedure, Elvis is usually pretty cool about it, unless it gets in the way of his elbows.

Tati: PICTURES!

“Stylish Cat Scratcher”

Mel: Something that will make ME happy and Elvis too – me because it isn’t a piece of cardboard abstract art designed by a high-schooler that gets shredded in 5 minutes, and is instead something that actually looks like it’s supposed to be there permanently. Not only that, but how cool is the lounging shelf. Elvis would definitely approve.

Tati: your couch would approve it too.

Cat Domination System

Mel: Ideally Elvis would like me to install a cat domination system in my house. This is one that is stylish and cool and not as crazy as the Cat house, but in a similar vein of thought. I like the crazy of the cat house but I think my eyes would get tired and I would get tired of dusting it. I have high ceilings. Elvis is currently looking for architecture students to volunteer to make him a masterpiece. Volunteers apply here: skuties@gmail.com

Tati: This is super cool, Elvis or no Elvis. I would love my house to look like that!

Stay tuned for the final part of our stupid wish list nest Tuesday (I promise It will be there on time). Until then, you can be a darling and start buying me stuff and making “this list” smaller.



One Response to “X-mas Shopping with 2 grown-up kids: Part II”

  1. esse restaurante eh bom! mas essa bebida ai eh bem de blah. voces provavelmente ficaram alto com o tanto de acucar q tem nela MAIS a sobremesa.

    eu ia comentar algo engracado sobre alguns dos itens.. mas com perdi tempo lendo os outros ja esqueci…

Leave a comment