Archive for the too long Category

Cum, please?

Posted in boys, cum, girls, he-man, james brown, Orgasm, sex, too long on December 2, 2008 by Skuties

This one is more of a public service than a cultural statement. And by public service I mean I have a problem with you and I want you to take a hint for future references.

I like boys a lot more than I like girls, a lot more than a bunch of other stuff. Because of that, of course most of my friends are boys. I do have some girls on my side and even though they are not as many, they all agree on one thing: We hate boys that take forever to cum!

At the beginning I thought it was just me, I’m not very patient and I get bored very easily, so I thought I was just being evil to the poor boy (s) who was trying to kill himself by sexing me ad infinitum. Then I started hearing all my girls saying the same thing. “Don’t you hate when the boy takes forever to cum?”

YES I DO!!! I DO!!!! WE ALL DO!!!!!!

So on behalf of all girls I know (probably all girls I don’t know either): Boys could you please cum a little faster?

None of us like a 10 minute guy, but over 1 hour is too much! Please my lovely misters, find a place in the middle, or do it like 100 times instead of one long cry after 4 hours of torture. I’m all for the “Let’s cum 100 gazillion times, all day long” instead of freaky endless sex.

Now, let’s get to the science of it!

IT IS A MYTH that girls like to have sex forever and ever and ever at once. Porno myth. Don’t get me wrong. Sex is good, always good. And of course we imagine that something as good as sex should last forever, and if it did that would be super cool.

“In psychosexual therapy, people are told about the 2-6-2 rule. Out of every ten times you have sex, the chances are that twice it’ll be fantastic and mind-blowing, and the earth will move; six times it’ll be nice but nothing special; and twice you’ll wish you hadn’t bothered.”

I will bet that the two times you wish you hadn’t bothered were those two boys who thought you love endless sex.

Boys, do you have fun with endless sex? I mean, isn’t it a lot of work, a huge amount of energy to keep going on for hours and try not to cum. I think it’s not even fun is it? I have a friend who told me he thinks about all sort of crazy things not to cum before his girlfriend does. JUST DO IT MAN! You can make her cum in other ways (I hope).

I have some words of comfort though. We know most of you take forever to cum, because you want it to last longer and some of you even think of us and on our fun and good times. But believe me; find a place in the middle. Unfortunately we are not sex machines.


We don’t really care what tools do you use, we just want to feel good and have fun. And one thing is a fact: If you torture us for too long, we go numb. When we go numb it sux, when it sux, we hate you, and when we hate you we tell ALL of our friends (boys and girls) how bad you are, how you took forever to cum and how we wish we hadn’t bothered.

Ok, maybe that’s just me, but I doubt it. All girls are evil bastards ALL OF THEM!

So let’s do this, let’s all cum faster for a better world! Let’s cum faster and keep doing it 100 gazillion times! Everybody wins folks, everybody wins!

“I’ll have what she’s having.”