Archive for the Tom Cruise Category

I love you Kotler!

Posted in Britney, Kotler, Marketing, Motley Crue, T-shirt, Tom Cruise on December 5, 2008 by Skuties

People ask me why I have chosen Marketing as my money earning fun thing. Well, because quoting someone who said it before me: “Image is everything”. And quoting Kid Rock: “If it looks good, you’ll see it. If it sounds good, you’ll hear it. If it’s marketed right, you’ll buy it. But…if it’s real, you’ll feel it.”

Yeah Bob, but who cares about real feelings when we have colors, music and sexy people splashing all around? Marketing makes the world go round. No marketing, no money, or is it no money no marketing? Whatever, you better have both kid, because on our present era, it doesn’t matter how talented you are, if you don’t have a cool image to sell, forget it.

Let’s think about it for a minute…

Let’s say you are the shit, the most talented in your field of choice. Do you know how many untalented little brats, with a huge marketing team behind them are out there? A lot of them. And you have no chance against Marketing evil people like me, who knows exactly all the clichés to make you go crazy, all the right colors, shapes and hot stuff. NO CHANCE BABY!

Want proof? Here.

The Hills. Do I “totally” hate this show? OMG I “totally” do! But I’m not here to judge, I just wanted to “totally” say “totally” twice (or thrice?). So MTV knows what teenagers want and they made The Hills happen. Oohh they are gooood (and I mean it). They make people care about a bunch of hitting 30’s nobodies who have nothing to do or say for that matter. All they do is kiss each other’s boyfriends, it’s like they only know 5 people and that’s it. Did they even finish high school? Well I certainly don’t care. All I care is that the Marketing involved behind the show is great and if MTV called me to work for them, I wouldn’t even think about not “totally” accepting the job!

Now let’s see what happened when one of the girls from The Hills tried her music career without MTV’s marketing. Because all you need is a boyfriend and a camera right? Right?

Ugh! Auto Tune much Heidi?

Enough with the idiots, let’s get to the juicy proof with cool people Marketing themselves correctly.

Exhibit 1: It’s Britney bitch!

Her comeback was somewhat amazing to watch from the Marketing side. She was still brain dead, freaking out, shaving her head and her team managed to glue some hair on her head, put her in a studio and record an album. And they went further; they made her shoot 2 videos. Want more? Remember her MTV music awards painful presentation? GIMME GIMME, GIMME GIMME GIMME MORE. Is it just me or did you also notice that only her body was there? The girl was completely out of it. But it gets better. She got better, and by better I mean awaken, so it was time to put her in the studio again, they shot another video, called MTV, a bunch of magazines, a whole lot of media everything and BANG! Britney wins 3 awards at the 2008 VMAs, she releases her new addictive Womanizer, woma, woma single EVERYWHERE and one night before her new Tour starts selling tickets, the tell all documentary appears on TV’s worldwide. At the same day her new video/single premieres and her new album drops.

She is sooo back.

Exhibit 2: Mötley is back!

(I know what you are thinking, I’m so predictable hihi)

That was a good one. Nikki Sixx, King of timing! Mötley has always been on and off. They break up, do a lot of crazy solo projects, get back together, put a “best of” album with one or two new songs, tour a bit and break up again. But this time they really did it. If you ask me, it all started with Nikki Sixx writing his “Heroine Diaries”, then putting a band together called Sixx: AM and releasing the “Heroine Diaries Soundtrack”. Not to mention tons of book signings and lectures about how good he feels now that he is off drugs. The band hit it big on the radio and played some shows, then I think Nikki just wanted more, so they decided to FINALLY start the project of the Movie for The Dirt and why not? Put the soundtrack for that one too. But it’s Mötley Crüe, one of the few bands that can still kick ass after almost 30 years with the same original guys. By the way, did you hear anything about Mötley Crüe while they were all taking care of their own business and no Marketing was involved? Na-ahhh. So With a full album, what’s next? Lets tour, YAY! And so they did. But for Marketing to work they need a lot of money and you only get a lot of money if a lot of people are “paying” attention (get it? Paying!).

The whole shebang: they put up a new album, started buzzing about the movie, fixed their website and put a “big announcement” banner there leaving it for a month, or so. In the meantime they released their first single on Rockband (first ones to do it folks). So you can see this banner in 5 different bands’ websites. Also in many music related magazines online. They say the big announcement will be broadcasted live online worldwide and who was in LA could go and watch it at someplace I forgot now.

I’m at home waiting for the big announcement (I’m a nerd, so I’ll confess; I opened all websites, all of them in different tabs and sat there waiting for them to do something). First the guys sit on a regular press conference table, start talking about the new album, bla, bla, bla and for some reason a lot of suits are there sitting with them; for a while you think “what a stupid marketing trick, I can’t believe I am here watching this. ARGH” so when I was about to go do something else, Nikki Sixx calls a bunch of guys from all the bands involved and fucking announces the Crüe Fest! Then they tell us that the suits are the executives from Harmonix, who made Rockband and they will have a Rockband stage on Crüe Fest (now how cool is that?). So as they finish explaining all about Crüe Fest, Nikki Sixx says “And you can get your tickets right now!”

Ahhhhh! All websites flipped at once and you could click on a link that would take you to Ticketmaster’s website. Ah if only it had stopped there. As you tried to get your tickets, you realized that you could only do it if you were a member of their fan club – the regular tickets would go on sale in a week or two, but now they got you all crazy, you have to get it now! – OR you can go ahead and purchase a membership right there with your tickets. So there you have it, the money! And of course I did it. I don’t care if it’s Marketing, I’m all for paying for good stuff (bad too). I even got a lousy T-shirt (not delivered YET) for all my loyalty, I don’t wear T-shirts anyway, pfff see if I care.

On that note, I will ask my friend Tom one more time:

Tom, do you need a new Marketing team?

Thought so, call me!