Archive for the he-man Category

My hero!

Posted in Fun, he-man, Jeff Scott Soto, Jimi Jamison, Motley Screw, Sandro Bongiovi, Stupid Kyle on December 9, 2008 by Skuties



He is the king! THE KING!

I don’t even know how to start this one. There are so many things to talk about, this is one of my favorite subjects and if you know me, that means I made you go see him at Manifesto with me!

Guys, I give you:



Sandro Bongiovi

Got it? Bon Jovi! Yeah he has the most notorious Bon Jovi cover band in the world. No matter what you say to me, you won’t convince me otherwise. Not to mention his Poison cover band and OF COURSE his Mötley Crüe Cover Band. And why am I talking about him? Because the world has got to know about him! Enough is enough people!

Last Saturday for the first time in a long time, I missed one of his fantastic shows at Manifesto Bar. (ok I’m lying, I’ve missed a lot of his shows)

But seriously, this guy believes more in Bon Jovi, than Bon Jovi himself. And he is highly entertaining, a lot more than bon jovi. If you live in São Paulo, Brazil, and for some stupid reason you have never been to Manifesto Bar to see Sandro with ANY of his bands, DO IT! It is SUPER fun, cheap beer, sleazy girls and Hard Rock! (Sorry girls, only ugly boys there but hey: cheap beer!)

It’s like that place is locked in the 80’s. Like another dimension. Last time I went there before moving here, me and one of my best friends ended up watching Jimi Jamison, former Survivor, singing Eye Of The Tiger, now top that! They did, they got Jimi Jamison AND Jeff Scott Soto singing Burning Heart in the end (Have I mentioned I love Stallone’s Movies? Did I have too?). That was easily one of the nights that I had the most fun. Of course, being with my friend there and laughing our asses off helped a lot! But I will talk more about Manifesto some other day, today it’s all about my hero: Sandro!

I’ve heard a lot of stuff about him, that he is a jerk, that he is a nice guy, people hate him, people love him. I think people just don’t have a sense of humor. Here we have this guy that being good or not at what he does, loves music, loves Bon Jovi and loves what he does. He is happier than most of us, how many of you can say you love your job? Plus, he gets to travel through the country with a lot of crazy people yelling at him and having fun, fun, fun…

Personally I don’t care Sandro, you can be a jerk or whatever you wanna be, because all you did for me was give me years and years of laughter!

I think you should quit your Bon Jovi cover though, because you as Vince Neil is a lot more convincing and Bon Jovi sucks anyway. (don’t hate me, hate him!)

SOOOOO, fortunately I have a bunch of kick ass friends in Brazil and one of them, Vili, was kind enough to go to “Motley Screw” concert last Saturday (as if I needed to ask HAHA) and make some videos and take some pictures for me so I could share it with the world!

Here you have it kids, Motley Screw!

I’m laughing of you laughing!

Vili, who’s the even smaller guy on the back?

Shake it!

too many options!

I almost forgot Tommy Lee here

Rock Star!

And here some stuff from his Bon Jovi Band:

And the crowd goes craaaaaaazy – AUUUUUUUUUUU

Who will be the first to send me a DVD? For real guys, it’s not like they will deliver it here.

And for those of who think things should be perfect to be good, you are missing out and you deserve a hammer in the head…

just like stupid Kyle!

Cum, please?

Posted in boys, cum, girls, he-man, james brown, Orgasm, sex, too long on December 2, 2008 by Skuties

This one is more of a public service than a cultural statement. And by public service I mean I have a problem with you and I want you to take a hint for future references.

I like boys a lot more than I like girls, a lot more than a bunch of other stuff. Because of that, of course most of my friends are boys. I do have some girls on my side and even though they are not as many, they all agree on one thing: We hate boys that take forever to cum!

At the beginning I thought it was just me, I’m not very patient and I get bored very easily, so I thought I was just being evil to the poor boy (s) who was trying to kill himself by sexing me ad infinitum. Then I started hearing all my girls saying the same thing. “Don’t you hate when the boy takes forever to cum?”


YES I DO!!! I DO!!!! WE ALL DO!!!!!!

So on behalf of all girls I know (probably all girls I don’t know either): Boys could you please cum a little faster?

None of us like a 10 minute guy, but over 1 hour is too much! Please my lovely misters, find a place in the middle, or do it like 100 times instead of one long cry after 4 hours of torture. I’m all for the “Let’s cum 100 gazillion times, all day long” instead of freaky endless sex.

Now, let’s get to the science of it!

IT IS A MYTH that girls like to have sex forever and ever and ever at once. Porno myth. Don’t get me wrong. Sex is good, always good. And of course we imagine that something as good as sex should last forever, and if it did that would be super cool.

“In psychosexual therapy, people are told about the 2-6-2 rule. Out of every ten times you have sex, the chances are that twice it’ll be fantastic and mind-blowing, and the earth will move; six times it’ll be nice but nothing special; and twice you’ll wish you hadn’t bothered.”


I will bet that the two times you wish you hadn’t bothered were those two boys who thought you love endless sex.

Boys, do you have fun with endless sex? I mean, isn’t it a lot of work, a huge amount of energy to keep going on for hours and try not to cum. I think it’s not even fun is it? I have a friend who told me he thinks about all sort of crazy things not to cum before his girlfriend does. JUST DO IT MAN! You can make her cum in other ways (I hope).

I have some words of comfort though. We know most of you take forever to cum, because you want it to last longer and some of you even think of us and on our fun and good times. But believe me; find a place in the middle. Unfortunately we are not sex machines.

getupa!

We don’t really care what tools do you use, we just want to feel good and have fun. And one thing is a fact: If you torture us for too long, we go numb. When we go numb it sux, when it sux, we hate you, and when we hate you we tell ALL of our friends (boys and girls) how bad you are, how you took forever to cum and how we wish we hadn’t bothered.

Ok, maybe that’s just me, but I doubt it. All girls are evil bastards ALL OF THEM!

So let’s do this, let’s all cum faster for a better world! Let’s cum faster and keep doing it 100 gazillion times! Everybody wins folks, everybody wins!

“I’ll have what she’s having.”