Archive for February, 2009

Carnaval from Hell!

Posted in . on February 24, 2009 by Skuties

Did you really think we would post something? It’s Carnaval!!!! No work for a week.

here, some stupid pics for your amusement:


Lazy Humans!

Posted in . on February 19, 2009 by Skuties

Elvis: So since Mel is downstairs playing the stupid Flower game on the stupid video game on the stupid TV, beneath the really cozy fuzzy warm wonderful but stupid blanket – WITHOUT ME! I have decided to take over her laptop that she has forgotten to put away. I really prefer the desktop but right now its Fluffbrain’s turn with the keyboard, so I`ll have to make do with this.

So Tati, seriously what could possibly be more interesting than ME where you are? I hear you are in some place called “Toe Wrong Toe” and that they have lots of beer. I have seen nothing in your descriptions of this land of anything remotely interesting for cats, and find it hard to believe they would simply let humans run feral without some sort of domination or at least a good tagging system.

Tati: Yes Elvis, I’m in toewrongtoe! And NO, no beer for you! I still have the scars from the last time I let you go to the bar with me. And I am sure that old guy still misses his hair!

People here love animals. Some of them even learned how to drive. Next time you are here I’m going to take you for a ride, because you are a much better driver than the “others” here.

Elvis: After some Googling I see things about bears, moose and salmon. Where is my salmon? I demand salmon with a nice side salad.

Tati: Yum! Food here is awesome too. I have to take you to the St. Lawrence Market. They have a LOT of fish there! And then I can take you to the Humane Society to visit some stray friends. They take very good care of all sorts of animals there. I might even leave you there for a while to see if they can do something about your attitude!

Elvis: I thought I would take this opportunity to share some of my favorite locations on the web in order to enlighten those humans without proper cat owners to care for them. l will however have to train the majority of you through subliminal cat messages which tire me out however a good recharge of my chlorophyll cells in the sun and I should be able to have enough energy to jump onto the bed for my afternoon nap.

One of my favorite sites is the Fail Blog because it is evidence of how humans can be so stupid. I will never quite understand why find poop and potty humor more entertaining than the thrill of box hunting. Seriously hairballs, shit and vomit are not funny. They are to be hidden discarded and not referred to even in a comical way.

Tati: Oh! because cats are REALLY smart!

Elvis: Although seeing you humans drunk is funny.

Tati: You said it Mr. It’s-not-an-old-man’s-head-it’s-delicious-green-grass! Baby, when you are drunk, NOTHING is funnier!

Elvis: Another of my favorite sites is The cat house I hope to find such highly trained and properly worshipful humans in the future. A cat can dream can’t he? I also enjoy checking out this one.

For those that have not done their homework I suggest you do some research about why we felines are superior beings

and anyone wishing to earn my favor and good will should send offerings of fuzzy balls to me c/o Mel.


Batman (1966)

Posted in . on February 18, 2009 by Skuties

Holy movie nights folks! This week’s movie is so awesome, I’m still happy about it! I wanna watch it over and over and over again! I will apologise in advance because this one is going to be long, there is too much awesome in this movie for me not to mention.

The 1st Batman movie (with Adam West) is possibly the best Batman movie. Forget Christian Bale, Adam West forever! *love*. Here is a taste:

Yep, you heard the man, exploding man eating sharks, megaton magnets, deadly disintegrators, Polaris missiles and a LOT of drugs, if I may add.

This movie was so much fun we give it 9 explanatory labels. It all begins “on a peaceful afternoon motor-ride when millionaire Bruce Wayne and his youthful ward, Dick Grayson, have been summoned back to Wayne manor by an urgent, but anonymous call for help. “

The deal is: Some inventor got kidnapped and is being held prisoner on his yatch. So Batman calls the airport and tells them to get the Bat-copter ready. While they are flying, they find some girls in bikinis on the top of a building, and then finally they find the Yatch on the Sea. Batman tells Robin to check the Bat-angle and then drop the Bat-Ladder, which has a label on it just in case you don’t know what that is. Those labels will become very useful throughout the movie.

Unfortunately, it was all staged. It was a plan to lure and kill Batman and Robin. The Yatch was just a hologram and as Batman approaches the water an exploding man eating shark jumps on his leg.

Gabriel (8:47:53 PM): Bat-angle uAHEuhAEuhAEUhAE

Tati (8:48:11 PM): hahahahaha Bat-ladder!!!!!! Tati (8:48:20 PM): Bat-shark! Tati (8:49:14 PM): tananananananananananaaaa

Gabriel (8:49:49 PM): pa!

Tati (8:49:56 PM): HAHAHAHAHAHAH

Gabriel (8:50:04 PM): Holy sardine!!!

Tati (8:50:16 PM): NOOOOOOO

But he is the goddamn Batman after all and they manage to escape. So after that, they go back to the Batcave to figure out who is behind the man eating exploding shark. At the Batcave they figure out that the Yatch was an “illegal projection”. They hop on the Bat-boat to investigate even further and end up stuck on the megaton magnet. The villains, now inside the Penguin’s submarine – that actually looks like a penguin – activate the “Remote Control Penguin Magnet” and throw torpedoes at Batman and Robin.

Batman manages to reach his Bat-transmitter, reverses the polarity, send out waves of “super energy” and escape once more! They call the Pentagon and ask them if they know about any submarine being purchased lately. And they do know. Last week a “Pre-atomic model” was purchased by a “chap” named P. En Guin. HA!

Gabriel (9:09:52 PM): classified waste!

Tati (9:09:55 PM): oh hoi! Tati (9:10:17 PM): He is looking for the submarine on his roladex ! Tati (9:10:31 PM): p-en-guin!


Tati (9:11:09 PM): hahahahahahahahahaha

Gabriel (9:11:25 PM): submarine is launching a manned mission to them moon

Tati (9:11:39 PM): oh wow Tati (9:12:16 PM): hahahahahahahahahaha

Gabriel (9:12:20 PM): AUEHuhAEuhaeUheaUhAEUHAEuh

Gabriel (9:12:25 PM): Holy shit!!!

Tati (9:12:41 PM): CATWOMAN!

Gabriel (9:12:44 PM): cat woooomannnn :,(

While they are still on the docks, Batman sees a Polaris missile exploding in the sky and it leaves a riddle in form of a joke.

So the OBVIOUS answer for that riddle in form of a joke? A CAT. Let’s see the riddle.

According to Robin, the answer for the first question is “gobble up” and for the second is a “sparrow with a machine gun” (but of course!). So, combine both answers: what creature would gobble up a bird on a tree? “Heaven’s protectors, A CAT!”


I must interrupt and quote a part of the movie that shows that Batman is not just a good-looking superhero, he is also a genius. Here is how they figured out which villains helped on the evil plan:

Some guy: Could be any of them, but which one? Or, which ones?

Commissioner Gordon: OH!

Batman: Pretty, fishy what happened to me on that ladder…

Some guy: You mean that if there’s a fish it could be a penguin?

Robin: But wait! It happened at Sea! See? C is for Catwoman!

Batman: That exploding shark WAS pulling my leg!

Some guy: The Joker!

Commissioner Gordon: All adds up to a sinister riddle. riddle-er…Riddler?

Some guy: Oh, thoughts strike me!

Batman: their forces combined…

Robin: Holy Nightmare!

Note: that is the actual quote, word by word.

So here is the plan: They have kidnapped that guy because he invented a machine that can pulverize a person then by just adding water, you can bring them back. But Batman and Robin are always getting on their way, so Catwoman will distract Batman while they work behind the lines to capture him. Needles to say that the boy wonder gets pissed about Batman’s love affair and decides to go out with Alfred.

Just kidding, he brings Alfred along to spy on Batman because he can’t drive.

Gabriel (9:18:47 PM): auEHuAHEuhAEuheAu

Gabriel (9:19:34 PM): batman’s gonna score

Tati (9:19:45 PM): scooooooooooorrrre

Gabriel (9:20:07 PM): uahEuhaeuhhaeae discrete…

Tati (9:20:28 PM): falling in looooove with youuuuuu Tati (9:21:10 PM): woop woop! Tati (9:21:41 PM): he’s jealousssssss

Gabriel (9:21:42 PM): he is jealous

Gabriel (9:21:43 PM): AUEHUHAEuhAEUHAE

Tati (9:21:45 PM): hahahahahaha Tati (9:22:00 PM): boy wandah

Gabriel (9:22:06 PM): aEUhuAEHuhea

Tati (9:23:30 PM): prrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Gabriel (9:24:06 PM): silly hands

Tati (9:24:30 PM): miau miau miau miau

While Batman is having fun with Catwoman, the other villains are out there flying their “Jet Pack Umbrellas”. They fly to Batman’s Penthouse and kidnap him and the disguised Catwoman.

Gabriel (9:28:52 PM): FUCK!

Tati (9:28:57 PM): hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Gabriel (9:03:09 PM): Awesome!!!

Gabriel (9:03:12 PM): I wasn’t expecting that

Tati (9:03:18 PM): hahaha

Gabriel (9:04:34 PM): AHEuhAEUhEAUEAU best props in a movie

After an amazing fight with the villains, Bruce/Batman escapes. He goes home to pick up Robin and they go after the villains. That leads to the best movie scene ever made. After they climb up the exterior of a house, they see that the villains left them a huge bomb. Here is Batman trying to get rid of the bomb.

Tati (9:40:38 PM): oh-oh

Gabriel (9:40:58 PM): haEhaheaeuhuaEHuaehuhe

Tati (9:41:03 PM): *iduaieuvjruurxhkueszdkflads*

Gabriel (9:41:30 PM): holy fuck

Tati (9:41:39 PM): go go go gooo

Gabriel (9:41:50 PM): uhaEUhAEUHuaehuhuheea

Tati (9:41:52 PM): haaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahaha

Gabriel (9:41:56 PM): best scene evar!!!!

Gabriel (9:42:01 PM): fucking EVAR!!!!

Tati (9:42:01 PM): EVAHHHH

Gabriel (9:42:08 PM): aUEHuHAEuhaeuhaeh

Tati (9:42:15 PM): hahahahahahaha woah woah

Gabriel (9:42:24 PM): AUEhahEuHEAUEHAuea great!

Tati (9:42:29 PM): nope! Not this way. Tati (9:42:44 PM): damn, loop! Tati (9:42:56 PM): hahahahahahahaha Tati (9:43:09 PM): OSCAR!

Gabriel (9:43:19 PM): uhAEuhuEAHuheuhea

Tati (9:43:25 PM): hahahahahahahahahahaha

So as you can see after what felt like 10 hours, he finally gets rid of the bomb, and for me the movie could have ended there, because I think I just blew my funny fuse. But fortunately the movie goes on.

Penguin disguises himself as the guy from the Yatch and Batman takes him to the Batcave. Now, what I didn’t tell you, because I was too busy watching Batman trying to get rid of that bomb on an infinite loop, is that Penguin had pulverized 5 of his pirates/guinea pigs and brought them along. So when he asks Batman for water, what do you think happens?

Gabriel (9:46:56 PM): clearly marked. Obviously.

Tati (9:47:00 PM): clearly marked!

Yes! 5 pirates get hydrated back to life as Batman states here:

Robin: Holy Hallucination!

Batman: I wish it were Robin, but it’s not! Its 5 de-hydrated pirates, re-hydrated.

Tati (9:47:15 PM): ???

Gabriel (9:47:50 PM): auehuaheuhaeuaeuheahu

Gabriel (9:48:07 PM): wtf?

But Penguin made a mistake when he added water to his pirates; he accidentally used the “heavy water” Batman uses to recharge his “Atomic Pile”. And here is Batman’s explanation for what made me and my cousin faint a little:

Robin: this led them to a highly unstable condition!

Batman: You saw it yourself Robin, the slightest impact was sufficient to instantly reduce them to anti-matter!

Robin: Anti-matter? You mean they, won’t be coming back?

Batman: No, Robin. Not in this universe

Gabriel (9:48:38 PM): wow

Gabriel (9:48:48 PM): aUEHuaheuhaeuhaeuhae

Tati (9:48:49 PM): hahahaha

Gabriel (9:48:55 PM): damn!

This is the exact scene right after he finishes explaining it. Apparently Penguin also fainted a little while trying to escape through the stairs. And by faint I mean poop.

My favourite explanatory sign so far (on the top):

KEEP OFF. Atomic Pile. Super high high voltage!

Penguin steals the Bat-mobile, so Batman and Robin use their Bat-Bike that was hidden under their Bat-bush to get to the airport to get the Bat-copter. The villains shoot a Polaris missile from their submarine and knock the Bat-copter down. Fortunately they fall right at a Foam Rubber Wholesalers convention landing on “Foam rubber on its crude form” leaving them unharmed from the crash.

The missile, besides knocking down the Bat-copter, also left 2 more riddles in the sky. And here is how it went:

“What goes up white and comes down yellow and white”

– An egg, said the boy wonder

“How do you divide seventeen apples among sixteen people?”

– Make Apple sauce!

Batman: Apples into apple sauce, a unification! And egg, nature’s perfect container, the container of all our hopes for the FUTURE!

Robin: A unification and a container of hope? UNITED WORLD ORGANIZATION!

Batman: Precisely Robin! And there is one meeting going on right now!

Robin: WOW lets commander a taxi!

Batman: NO Robin! Not at this time of day. Luckily we are in TIP TOP condition. It will be faster if we run!

And off they go!

While they are running there, the villains break into the United World Organization building and pulverise all the country leaders at the meeting.

When Batman and Robin get there the villains are already back on their submarine.

Tati (9:59:54 PM): too laaaaaate!

So they go get the Bat-boat and go after the submarine leading us to the final fight where Batman shows why he is the goddamn Batman and fights everybody with a cat on his hands!

Gabriel (10:10:06 PM): aEHuAHEuahEuhaEuhea

Tati (9:52:55 PM): inhoinhoinhoinhoinnnn

Gabriel (9:53:14 PM): uaHEuhaeuhuae

Gabriel (10:10:07 PM): aeeeee!!!

Tati (10:10:11 PM): eeeeeeeeeeeee

Gabriel (10:10:15 PM): twhang!

Tati (10:10:17 PM): thwatch

Tati (10:10:43 PM): ACTION!!!

Gabriel (10:11:03 PM): Adam West is king!!!!!

Tati (10:12:03 PM): plop

Tati (10:12:21 PM): this is too funny hahahahahaha

After the fight, Batman figures out Catwoman is Mrs Kit Cat and Robin drops the country leaders mixing them all up. Back to the Bat-cave, they throw the country leaders on the clearly marked “Super Molecular Dust Separator”. They get back to the United World Organization building to re-hydrate everybody, but this time, with “light water, soft” of course!

But they fuck up. When the country leaders get re-hydrated, they come back speaking the wrong languages. So Batman looks at Robin and tells him their job is done and they must leave, BUT, “inconspicuously” and through the window. And apparently that’s the living end!

Gabriel (10:37:41 PM): ahEuhaeuheauhaehu


Gabriel (10:37:46 PM): Awesome!!!!!

Tati (10:38:01 PM): inconspicuous!

Gabriel (10:38:14 PM): our job, in movies, is finished

Tati (10:38:35 PM): FUCKYAY!

And that is why if you decide to use heavy drugs, you should write a movie!


Posted in Deathstalker on February 10, 2009 by Skuties

Well hello!

Are you ready for the crappy movie that was supposed to be serious of the week?

I, sure as hell wasn’t. Being a professional crappy movie watcher I was naïve enough to believe nothing else would shock me. Deathstalker did!

take a look:

Holy flying poop you guys, this one got like 2 rapes on our thing-o-mometer. I don’t even know how to start, because when it ended I really wanted to cry. Brace yourselves because this one is gonna hurt. Like rape, you know?

Here is what we think happened…
To get it out of the way, he doesn’t stalk death so that’s a pretty stupid name for a movie AND a character. Let’s get past that, shall we?

SOOOO, the movie begins with a bunch of Neanderthal zombies from the middle age, lurking around a guy, who is clearly trying to get some from a girl, that he probably stole somewhere? The zombies come and scare the hell out of him and he runs away. While the other zombies are chasing the guy, the smart one tries to get some from the girl. But I don’t think he is too smart and he gets nothing. Then he decides to carry her around showing off her butt.

Tati (9:38:44 PM): Good God in heaven! Tati (9:39:06 PM): Is he fighting zombies?
Gabriel (9:39:10 PM): yes
Tati (9:39:13 PM): ok Tati (9:39:30 PM): are they middle age Neanderthal zombies?
Gabriel (9:39:36 PM): hahahah they might be

Then a freaky He-man – a cross between Conan and Ben Stiller – appears and says “That’s my horse!” Then he runs after all the zombies and kills the first guy who probably stole the girl somewhere. Then he grinds his way to a tree with the girl that he just stole from the zombies and the dead guy and keeps doing nasty things to her.

As he was doing all kinds of things to the girl, this poor old guy is thrown into the scene and says “Your name!” and He-man goes “WHAT?” like: can’t you see I’m busy??? Then the old guy says “Tell me your name!” and He-man goes “OUTSIDE, wait me there”. HELLOO, you are in the forest you idiot, you ARE outside!

In the meantime the girl runs away and He-man closes the FANTASTIC opening scene by saying “This isn’t my day either” probably talking to me and my cousin, because that’s how we were feeling “This isn’t our day!”

Tati (9:40:59 PM): DUDE!
Gabriel (9:41:14 PM): auHEuheauheahu

The old guy takes He-man to another old guy and He-man keeps making fun of him while he eat some chicken and jokes about eating the old guy’s dog (whoever “dressed” the dog middle age style meant serious business by the way).

The other old guy is a king who got kicked out of his castle and now lives in the woods with a bunch of other old men. He tells He-man he wants him to invade the castle and kill the guy who stole it from him. He-man says “You need a fool” and the king says “No, I need a hero!” and that’s He-man’s reaction (I’M NOT KIDDING):

Deathstalker: Heroes and fools (long pause) are the same thing!

The king then tells him that they stole his daughter and He-man must save her. He-man doesn’t care and walks away. (I just wanna make a note here that during this scene the dog was changed at least 5 times).

And off we go to another scene. Now they show us that the king has a Chinese daughter and she is locked in the castle with a bunch of naked women.

Then we have this guy being dragged through the forest, until he hits a tree and that’s it for him. One of the guys who were dragging the guy around, yells at a witch. He wants the sword, but then she throws a snake at him and se seems to be having fun with it. He-man appears and chops some guys head off. The guy who was playing with the snake has an amulet and because of that he transforms into a pigeon or something. The witch shows He-man this pot full of smoke and tells him to go find the sword then the amulet and then one third thing and then he will have the 3 powers of creation. And off he goes.

Gabriel (9:46:57 PM): HEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD Tati (9:47:30 PM): Damn!
Gabriel (9:47:35 PM): mwuahahahah

When he is running through the forest looking for the sword, he obviously gets thirsty, when he tries to drink from a river the witch yells at him “Deathstalker! Your thirst is only for the powah!”

Here is he apologising to the river/witch:

I’m getting sick from talking about this movie, so I will speed up the story and I am sure it won’t make a difference.

He finds the sword; it was with this ugly guy in a cave that was being held by this giant ugly thing. He-man gets the sword, transforms into a child, the ugly guy falls into the water and He-man turns back into He-man.

They go together to the castle and find a guy with small clothes, then a naked girl with freaky boobs and a cape. They all go to the castle, they all fuck each other and a lot of other people.

Then they find a Pigman! A PIGMAN!

Then a guy turns into a girl and almost gets raped by He-man

Tati (10:39:49 PM): rape rape rape rape!
Tati (10:43:56 PM): *mixed feelings*

Gabriel (10:44:00 PM): rape!

After that they fight gladiator style for God only knows what reason.

The fake king convinces the guy with the small clothes to kill He-man, but He-man is a badass and kills him with a hug.

Gabriel (10:33:35 PM): creck! criii criii criiiiiiii
Tati (10:33:55 PM): /scene unrelated Tati (10:33:34 PM): ahhhhhhhhhhhhhahahahhhahahaha what is this girl????

Then He-man goes fight the Pigman Gladiator style and Pigman doesn’t make it.

Gabriel (10:35:10 PM): Oh no Pigman is going to die
Gabriel (10:35:16 PM): :,(
Tati (10:36:37 PM): foin

He finds the amulet and figures out that the third “powah” is the fake king’s cup. He fights the fake king, his sword turns into a Lightsaber. He gets the cup, the amulet and the sword together and gets the POWAH!

Gabriel (10:42:06 PM): is he a jedi?
Tati (10:42:39 PM): wow, what did he just cut?
Gabriel (10:42:57 PM): the can
Tati (10:43:13 PM): hahaha
Gabriel (10:37:03 PM): and the crowd roarrrrrrs
Tati (10:37:13 PM): moaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Gabriel (10:38:09 PM): da powah!

This is the final scene when a fake sword in flames (I assume) flies into the screen and guess what? THE END!

Tati (10:45:46 PM): he doooooes
Gabriel (10:45:53 PM): da powah!
Gabriel (10:46:04 PM): death stalker yeahhhhhhh
Tati (10:46:19 PM): sssssssssssssssssssssssss Tati (10:48:20 PM): nomnomnomnom Tati (10:48:56 PM): ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Gabriel (10:49:20 PM): grayskuuuuuuuuuuuuuul
Gabriel (10:49:28 PM): AEaEIjhiaEJiaEihaeihaeihaehiea
Tati (10:49:36 PM): *puke*

C-ya next Wednesday!

Note: I just found out there is a Deathstalker II

Is it THAT time of the year again?

Posted in ., Valentine's Day on February 9, 2009 by Skuties

Mel: February 14th is Valentine’s Day for those that were unaware and I thought I would take the time to talk about it in order to give people adequate time to prepare celebrations before Saturday. Traditionally was a day for lovers, but unlike the Brazilian Valentine’s day has been commercialized and expanded to be a day for “love” in general of all kinds, including the except not kind of forced valentines in Grade schools.

Tati: Not to mention that Valentine’s Day in Brazil is on June 12th. For all I know it’s the only country that has a different date. But I don’t know much…All I know is that now I have 2 Valentine’s Days and I’m going to collect. Do you hear me Canada? Good!

Mel: First a short history lesson – we often…no wait seriously the history behind Valentine`s Day is such a fantastic example of human history that I will not begin to bore you but let’s just say it starts with the Catholic church and 2 or 3 of 11 forgotten “St. Valentine’s” none of which people remember and a pagan holiday cover up, mixes in a game of romantic embellishment over the centuries with some mildly famous writers like Chaucer and Shakespeare. Throws in the crazy ideas of Courtly Love (no not Courtney Love – wait suddenly things make so much sense about her) a ton of money & commercialization, the Victorians and the internet. I swear the Wikipedia page will either put you to sleep or freak you out.

Tati: What really matter is that boys get you candy, romance you and them give you more candy, if you know what I mean *wink*. Let’s stop living in the past and start making our own history. I want boycandy! (with pink frost, right Mel?)

Mel: Valentine`s Day aka Singles’ Awareness Day, is normally associated with romantic love, however as most American grade school kids will tell you Valentine`s day is about pink frosted cupcakes, conversation hearts, red hots, chocolate, sugar rushes, “decorated” shoeboxes and “forced” Valentines.

Tati: What else do you need???? Oh yeah the boycandy!

Mel: Most teachers MAKE students give a Valentine to EVERY kid in the class, of course they don’t tell you WHICH Valentine you have to give mind you 😉 However this changes Valentine’s day to be more than just a sugar high as you get older (and an excuse to wear those bright pink hear earrings) but “love” in general – between family members and close friends as well. It also teaches us to associate any and every holiday with a sugar high – at least all the good ones (the very best ones include costumes as well).

Tati: Agreed!

Mel: OF course anti-valentine’s day parties are somewhat popular, but as a girly girl who loves pink, chocolate, roses, thinks that are cute and subversive why would I NOT celebrate all the weird craziness associated with Valentine’s Day? Why wallow when the world needs so much more love in the first place anyway? HOWEVER if you are going to do it, I so do it right – emo and all. However don’t forget to include some despair.

Tati: I think anti-valentine’s day parties are for idiots, did you hear me well idiots of the world? YOU ARE IDIOTS! Mel is right. Stop being an idiot and go have fun, you stupid idiot!

Mel: For those in need of suggestions as to how to celebrate here are a few:

The classic Dinner/Breakfast for two – those in need of aphrodisiac recipes or recipes in general hit up All Recipes Holiday Specials a great source for beginner or advanced cooks as things are rated and other cooks leave comments. Don’t always trust the pictures there though – some people THINK they can take pictures of food, all artistically arranged and all, but it looks like something you’d feed a pig in a bucket. I have already copied the Fig & Toasted Almond Brie and can’t wait to try it out – three of my favorite foods in one delicious little recipe its making my mouth water. If you need some chocolate recipe ideas look to Hersey’s – now if only they delivered.

Tati: YUM YUM I like all foods! I’ve always been clueless about any type of holiday, including Valentine’s Day, even when I am dating. It is all the same to me. All fun and food and boycandy! I’ll try these recipes anyway, any day!

Mel: Try giving Non-traditional (aka not hearts) Chocolate gifts to friends. I particularly like these chocolate skulls – however don’t forget to include the bow on those! Otherwise it won`t be festive!

Although I do not suggest chocolate babies – too freaky

Tati: Wow those are freaky AND cute. I would totally eat that one yawning. CHOMP!

Mel: Your imagination and the internet are the limit; in fact the web is full of crazy people and crazy ideas, not to mention books, poems and history about how to spread the love around. Please however do not interpret this as hugging strangers on the subway or licking people’s hands.

Tati: Yes, don’t do that. If you hug me on the subway or lick my hand I’ll be very upset. Those have to be saved for the second date!

Mel: If all this is still not your cup of tea I offer the Ancient Roman Holiday Lupercalia – to be interpreted as you so desire (its ancient so you can make up your own new traditions) however is apparently about cleansing the city, werewolves and human sacrifice…errr goat sacrifice.

Tati: Mel, only you can dig those things up…

Feel the love auuuuuuuuuuu

Mel: One final thought for those not in with the pink love – this Friday is Friday the 13th.

Tati: JASON, I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!! (I’m more of a red love kinda gal)

Mel: Oh and just for you Tati – Valentine`s Day Candy Corn

Tati: Oh my!!! I am CRAZY for candy corn *droll* *droll* *droll* *droll* *faint*

Weekly Crappy Movie Review is ON!

Posted in Tenebrae on February 7, 2009 by Skuties

Hi guys!

Today we are going to introduce you one of our passions: Crappy movies that were supposed to be serious. Aren’t those the best? Yes they are.

That is a very old tradition that my cousin, Gabriel and I have and now we decided to share this with you. First one had to be from the king of crappy movies that were supposed to be serious:

Dario Argento

We are not going to make a conventional review and won’t go deep on the author’s bio, that’s why Google is around. On our weekly crappy movies that were supposed to be serious reviews, we will show you our reaction to the movies as they were playing. We also have our own ratting system and you will figure it out with time.

Today’s movie is Tenebrae
and it scored 7 spaghettis on our thing-o-mometer.

Gabriel (8:27:41 PM): he
Tati (8:27:49 PM): dariooo
Gabriel (8:27:49 PM): dario
Tati (8:28:54 PM): wow there are a lot of Argentos on this movie
Gabriel (8:28:58 PM): yes!

Yes the whole family is in this movie apparently. So, we really tried to follow the storyline and I am sure we only managed to understand a bit of this movie because we have Italian blood. Otherwise nothing would have made sense. (That was a joke)

Here is what we think happened on the movie:

There is this guy, Peter Neal, who is a writer. He writes about murders and evil stuff. He wrote this book called Tenebre and someone started killing everybody, just like the killer on the book.

Here is the killer reading the book by the fire and all

And here, he hated the book and decided to burn it

And with all that rage, the movie begins and soon we will have our first victim.
Here she is stealing books. Apparently she is a filthy whore, because to get away with the stealing she gives the security guy at the store her address.

Soon she will get what she deserves for stealing. She will get killed by 4 deep wounds

Tati (8:44:54 PM): “4 deep wounds: throat chest and suffocation”
Gabriel (8:45:06 PM): deep suffocation

Meanwhile, Mr. Peter Neal arrives in Rome from NY for a bunch of interviews , but the police wants to talk to him because of the murder, since the killer stuffed the filthy whore’s mouth with the pages from his book. While he is trying to help the police the killer is on the move, killing a bunch of random people trying to make a point. (We will find that out later, or never).

When the police is trying to figure out who the killer is, Mr. Peter gets a phone call from a psycho woman and that makes us think she is the murder. But that brings nothing to the plot whatsoever because we never hear from her again. Oh Well…

Then there is this girl that jumps into the movie. All we know is that she is on the beach with a bunch of violent gay guys, has red shoes and is very angry. Every time she appears, she is on the beach and there is this dreamy music so we couldn’t figure it out is that’s a dream or if someone is stoned thinking of her. And we will also never find out.

Tati (9:29:07 PM): plin
Gabriel (9:29:08 PM): plin!
Gabriel (9:29:10 PM): UAHEuAHEuhaeuhAEuhAE
Tati (9:29:15 PM): hahahaha

Then there is this lesbian couple, but they have no “ties” and the fat lesbian decides to take a guy home even though that made the thin lesbian pretty sad. And of course, the fat one gets what she deserves for being a “cheap little hooker” and being “toooo draaaaaaaank” (feel the Italian accent) . After a 30 minute shot of outside of the girls’ house we finally get our kill. The killer actually kills them both.

And then there’s Mario and Luigi

Tati (9:03:39 PM): mario and luigi
Gabriel (9:03:42 PM): mario and luigi
Gabriel (9:03:44 PM): AUEhUAEHueAHuhae
Tati (9:03:45 PM): hahahahaha

The killer send Mr. Peter letters teasing him and telling him he is basically killing because Mr. Peter writes about evil stuff and that made him evil. And he keeps on killing… But then he kills a girl that was somehow important to Mr. Peter and he gets pissed and goes after the killer with this blond guy who I think was in love with the girl.

Her death is pretty complicated though: first she is going home with the blond guy, then on the next cut she is spiting on a different guy and yelling NO NO at him and tell him to go fuck himself, with a very strong Italian accent, and he leaves her there in the middle of nowhere in the dark. Then she gets chased by a ninja dog and ends up at the killer’s house. The killer forgot the keys on the door and that’s how she gets in. The killer was about to kill another girl but he remembers the key on the door and go back and then, well then he kills the other girl instead.

THEN there is this other lady who apparently have been following Mr. Peter from NY and we finally think we found our killer. But then she gets killed.

Gabriel (9:51:56 PM): twiwlililililililill
Tati (9:52:12 PM): it was jason
Gabriel (9:54:50 PM): I confess I didn’t understand the purpose of ANY character
Tati (9:54:55 PM): wtf! This lady!
Gabriel (9:55:54 PM): huhuuuuuuuuuuuu
Tati (9:56:05 PM): *excited*

Then there is like one person left to be the killer and he also gets killed. Then a bunch of people appear on the scene and they all get killed and we are left like that with no killer…Mr. Neil gets killed by a statue and a lady gets stuck to a door. And you can hear her screaming through the whole credits. AWESOME!

Tati (9:57:21 PM): OH WOW
Tati (9:58:38 PM): who is that?
Gabriel (9:58:42 PM): I don’t know anything anymore
Gabriel (9:58:47 PM): who got there in the end?
Tati (9:58:50 PM): I thought the one on the floor was the one standing
Gabriel (9:58:55 PM): me too
Tati (9:58:55 PM): the one on the floor is the one with the red shoes
Gabriel (9:58:57 PM): Godammit, this movie!
Tati (9:58:58 PM): fuck
Gabriel (9:59:30 PM): he quoted sherlock holmes
Tati (9:59:37 PM): it’s not helping
Tati (9:59:58 PM): who’s the girl with the shoes?????
Tati (10:00:23 PM): a BOOK!
Tati (10:01:16 PM): …
Gabriel (10:02:17 PM): who is the cow on the floor?
Gabriel (10:02:23 PM): and who is that one in the car?
Tati (10:02:39 PM): the one on the floor is the one with the shoes
Tati (10:02:47 PM): the one in the car is the filthy whore from the beginning
Gabriel (10:02:49 PM): there are 2 on the floor
Tati (10:02:58 PM): there is jane and the other with the shoe
Gabriel (10:03:05 PM): jane is the one with the shoe
Tati (10:03:15 PM): no jane stole the shoe from the crazy girl with the shoe
Tati (10:03:29 PM): it was him!
Gabriel (10:03:29 PM): jane won the shoe
Tati (10:03:46 PM): KAN
Tati (10:04:23 PM): son of a bitch
Gabriel (10:04:38 PM): RHuSHRuhSRuhsRHusr
Tati (10:04:58 PM): yay….uuuuu almost
Gabriel (10:05:20 PM): they still got a shot!
Gabriel (10:05:24 PM): she will use the sculpture!
Tati (10:05:25 PM): YES!
Gabriel (10:05:37 PM): aeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Tati (10:05:41 PM): hahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Tati (10:06:00 PM): why is she still there?
Tati (10:06:09 PM): hahahahahaha is she stuck on the door?
Gabriel (10:06:11 PM): because her line is AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH
Gabriel (10:06:22 PM): UAHEuhaEuhaeuheauhae
Gabriel (10:06:28 PM): I’m going to have to watch it again to understand who is the killer
Tati (10:06:44 PM): GOD!

And that’s how it ended
C-ya next wednesday!

Will be with you in a minute…

Posted in . on February 6, 2009 by Skuties

Guys the post will be late again!

I’m having some tech issues with my computer. Will post it as soon as possible!

some entertaining stuff in the meantime


I’ll be right back guys 🙂